I am beginning to realize how much I do things from a place of control seeking. I’ve always half-joked that I am a “control freak.” The more I think about it, the more I understand that this isn’t really that far from the truth. It would be fair to say that, predominantly, when I feel that I do not have control of any given situation that I feel anxiety, tension, frustration, and often anger.
A few days ago a friend of mine posted this photo online:
My automatic response was to recoil and feel immediately anxious. I recognize the irony in that this message is suppose to be anxiety reducing.
It is really frustrating recognizing the depths in which this anxiety based control seeking is interwoven into my life. I am in the process of seeking therapy and am curious to see the ways in which this conversation will unfold. I am also hopeful that I can begin to reduce a great deal of this anxiety and ultimately retire my “control freak” label.